December 30, 2017  EJ’s Birthday

Today is my eldest daughter’s 13th birthday and now that she is a teenager I think it is best if I take my right of parental embarrassment to the Web and share it with the world. As a professional educator (no really), I am familiar with the fact that most parents think that their children are special so I’m not here to tell you why I love my daughter.  I love her because she’s my daughter.  What I would prefer, instead, is to tell you why I like my daughter as a person, so I have compiled a list of quotes along with some observations which lead me to believe that she is truly a gift from God.

“We have some children who don’t really fit in with other children and EJ always makes sure that everyone is involved and feels worthwhile.”  

This is my best recollection of an email that I got from one of EJ’s teachers a while back and if someone had told me that she charged into a burning orphanage and saved three babies, while being crowned Miss America as she scored the game winning goal in the World Cup, I couldn’t have been any more proud.  We don’t see enough people considering other people these days and my heart swells to know that my child finds value in everyone.

“There are 5 extra questions on the test which are field test questions.  The state just wants to see if they are good questions to maybe use on a later test and they don’t record the results for individuals.” – Me   

“So can we contact the state and see if I got them right?”- EJ  

The child had done exceedingly well on her Final Exam but she just couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that she had counted 42 questions on the test and her score was taken out of only 37.  Don’t mistake me, she isn’t a perfectionist necessarily she just wanted to know how she did.

“I’m not crying because we lost.  I don’t really care about that.  I’m upset because I won’t be on a team with some of these girls again.”  

EJ loves to win and she loathes losing (check her last name) but she enjoys being part of a team more than just about any child I’ve ever seen.  She is also really hard on herself when she screws up but never points fingers at her teammates when they do.  She will never be the most athletic player on her team but she will more than likely be the most coachable and the best teammate.

“Bird”  

This is one of the first words I can remember EJ saying when she was little besides “dada” and “mama”.  We even have a picture of her as a toddler on the beach with her finger pointed to the sky and I will swear on my life that she is saying “bird”.  Oddly, it was rarely a bird she was pointing at but instead it was a barely, noticeable jet no bigger than a speck.  That eye for detail has never gone away.

“I’m sure that you will get lots of emails from parents who think that their kids are special.  I’m no exception to that group except that I’m right.” – Me

Since I’m in the business myself, I like to touch base with EJ’s teachers at the beginning of the year to let them know that I’m not going to give them any grief.  I haven’t sent this email in a few years because most of her teachers are friends and co-workers that already know her but I never sent one during her elementary days that didn’t get a reply within a few weeks confirming my assertion.  One of the things I’m sure that I don’t delude myself about is that she is truly a joy to teach.

“The only issue I’ve ever had with her is that sometimes she doesn’t want to put her book away when it’s time to do other work.” -More than one of EJ’s teachers

Whenever we have heard this my wife and I always give her the stern face and a reminder that you ALWAYS do what the teacher says WHEN the teacher says it.  And then we typically sneak into another room and high five each other.  If this is the only negative report that I get from school about my child then all I can say is “Thank you Jesus!”

“That just hurts my heart.”- EJ  

I can’t even remember what she was talking about at the time but it struck me that she feels things deeply and that her seemingly, limitless imagination helps her to empathize with the pain of others to an incredible extent.  I envy her friends.

“If Jesus sits on God’s right hand, then who sits on his left?”- EJ  

She asked this question of our minister and it really only scratches the surface of her curiosity about her own faith not to mention the faiths of others.  It is also representative of her inquisitiveness in general and her willingness to admit that she doesn’t know something.  I could certainly take lessons.

“Hey Daddy…”

I saved this one for last because it’s my favorite.  Countless times daily EJ will begin a sentence with “Hey Daddy…” and what generally follows is a request for an explanation about something she wants to know; migration patterns of black bears to the second law of thermodynamics, the color of belly button lint or why I have nipples.  She asks and then patiently listens for my answer and often asks a follow up question or two.  I’ve begun to understand that it is isn’t just that she thinks I’m smart and that I know a lot of answers.  I think that she intrinsically knows that I derive much of my self worth from being appreciated by people that I love and respect and she is asking as much for me as for herself.  

So do I love my daughter?  Yes.  Do I like my daughter?  Absolutely.  More than that I unreservedly adore her.  Am I bragging?  Hell yes, but my salutation in her birthday card might explain why.  I simply wrote, “To the first, best thing I’ve ever done.”  I know beyond a shadow of doubt that statement is true.