In May of 2021, the finale of teacher appreciation week was a catered meal, provided by our parent organization, served in individual styrofoam containers due to Covid protocols. Unfortunately, these containers (specifically the banana pudding) became the point of infection for an intestinal bug that hit over 50 staff members, caused the school to shut down for two days, and whose symptoms have become the stuff of legend.  I will not burden you with a description of the physical effects but I jokingly refer to this incident as the “Great Teacher Appreciation Week Massacre.” After reading proposals for instructional changes and the public education budget from the North Carolina General Assembly, I believe I would rather have that meal every Friday than see what our elected leaders are attempting to do to our children.  I’m not sure when public schools became the enemy, but I’m about to tell you some truths. And if you disagree with me, or you have heard something different, please take me to task in this open forum.  

Things You Won’t See

Part of the issue is that most of our citizens seem to think that the schools they attended have changed drastically from what they saw in their formative years, so let me share with you some things you won’t see in a public school.  

1. You will not see drag queens reading to small children.  If you do happen to volunteer at an elementary school you may see some of our high school students who are studying early childhood development reading to students. This “laboratory of learning” benefits both groups because small children relate to other students far better than adults, and I love the unintended wake-up call that my high schoolers get when they realize how difficult it is to keep a classroom under control. The books are approved by the elementary teachers who are experts in reading.  Also, no visitors are allowed on any campus without the permission of administration and I doubt very seriously anyone dressed like Divine would be allowed through the door.  
2. You will not see anyone teaching Sex Ed, gender exploration, or alternative lifestyles to elementary-age children. The curriculum used to teach healthy lifestyles to that age group is primarily about nutrition and exercise, and it is open to every student’s parent in the state to peruse at their leisure.  In later years, students are taught how their bodies function, how pregnancy occurs, and the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases.  If you find any of this objectionable then just let your child’s teacher know and they can be given another assignment.  All curricula are vetted and approved through a rigorous process by experts, but your personal choice to withhold information from your child is your own, as it should be.  Keeping it from other people’s kids isn’t your choice.
3. You will not see anyone teaching students to hate America, embrace communism, or feel guilty about being white.  We social studies teachers typically set up the Cold War as a battle between communism and capitalism and (spoiler alert) capitalism wins. Our Civics curriculum teaches the superiority of American Democracy but it does provide for different perspectives because not all Americans have shared equally in its bounty.  And if learning about slavery or the plight of disadvantaged Native Americans makes you feel guilty, then that is unfortunate, but developing empathy may come at the cost of comfort.  
4. You will not see a litter box in the bathroom or principal’s office for a student who “identifies” as a cat. I can’t believe I had to type that sentence but in the last week, I’ve had two college-educated adults tell me they have heard it as a fact.  This made-up story has become a throwaway line for politicians and pundits who are trying to convince you that our schools are going to hell in a handbasket. Anyone who passes this ridiculousness off as truth is too stupid or malicious to deserve your vote and you can quote me on that. As a side note, I did see a student with a fox tail a few weeks ago and I’m sure she didn’t look any more silly than my Dad in a coonskin cap.

These aspersions have led many to believe that our schools are out-of-control dens of sin where transgender advocates indoctrinate their God-fearing children with CRT and alternative lifestyles, but my students aren’t even allowed to have holes in their jeans above the knee.  And as outlandish as these ignorant culture war lightning rods make schools appear, I’m even more offended by a belief more commonly espoused by politicians; that our schools are failing. What makes it more painful(and personal) is the attempt to bleed public education dry with a “death by a thousand cuts” budget proposal from our State Senate being put forth by someone I went to high school with.  A high school where he received an education sound enough to carry him through an undergraduate degree at our state’s flagship university, then onto a prestigious law school, and a successful career that positioned him for a leadership role as Senate Appropriations Chair.  A powerful position where he could use his own testimony to advocate for public schools but instead has treated them with disdain or as a political prop.

And our schools aren’t failing.  Even with the losses from the pandemic, North Carolina’s scores on national tests are almost all higher than they were when I was in high school but you won’t hear that from our State Senate.  What you will hear is that they offered me a $ 20-a-month raise, which might not sound like much but it will buy a lot of banana pudding.  Who’s hungry?